GREAT AND NOT SO GREAT EXPECTATIONS, PART 1

There is no perfect local church in this world, but that’s not really a problem. Even so, many of us expect to find a local church that is perfect, but that’s not really a problem either. What is a problem is how many of us possess different expectations and opinions as to what makes the perfect local church while paying little attention to the needs and expectations of others.

Each of us have an idea of what we think the church should be. What the music should sound like. How easy it is to connect. What makes good preaching. What the demographic of the church should be. How easy it is to get to the building. What kinds of small groups they have. How much outreach they do and how they do it. And this list could go on and on.

Which means, not only are there no perfect local churches, but also there is no local church that will meet the expectations of everyone who is a part of it. With this in mind then, I want to address my fellow pastors regarding all the expectations we encounter.

To my brothers and sisters who serve as pastors:

If your congregation is any larger than two people, be sure of this, you will surely disappoint someone. These disappointments are not always because we’ve done something wrong. Most often it is because we have not met someone’s expectations. But how can we?

Each person comes in with specific hopes, baggage, backgrounds, opinions and ideas about what the church should be and how the pastor should act. There is absolutely no way any one person can meet all the needs – real and perceived – that exist in any one congregation.

The bottom line is this: as pastors we will let people down, become the object of their frustration and be the ones who shatter expectations. We should not allow ourselves to be smug or indifferent to the needs of our congregations. However, we also should not allow ourselves to believe we have the capacity to meet every need in the congregation.

Of course, if we don’t work to keep everyone happy, some will leave in the ongoing search for the perfect local church. But take heart, they will never feel at home in any local church because they are looking for something that does not exist. It’s a chasing after the wind.

There will be things people in our congregations want from us that we simply cannot give. It’s not because we will not, rather we cannot. There is a world of difference in that.

We all have limits, weaknesses, shortsightedness and blind spots. We should embrace these, not as an excuse, but as a reality. Because when we work to keep others happy, and meet their expectations we begin to lose a little bit of ourselves. We become tired, worn out and can even begin to resent the people we are trying to serve.

When fatigue like this sets in, the likelihood of us making a really disastrous decision becomes more likely than ever before. If this should happen, we will do more than disappoint others. We will break the hearts of many good people, and hurt more people than we may ever realize.

We cannot expect to please everyone. Let’s remember we are called to care for, guide and love others. Not keep them happy by doing all the things they want us to do. And there should be no problem with that.

*Part 2 will address those who are a part of the church and their expectations