Why You Should Look Back at Your Past
Driving a moving truck across Illinois, Iowa and Nebraska is the nearest I have come to experiencing eternity in this life. My GPS tried to tell me I was moving, that I was going somewhere, but given the endless, arrow-straight highway in front of us, we seemed to hover in place.
That day, that glimpse of eternity, was July 1, 2007. The following day, I pulled into Denver, CO to begin a new season of life as the Lead Pastor of Denver Community Church. Eight years ago today.
Each year on this day I think about moving to Denver - my fears, hopes, insecurities, doubts and dreams; I look back. And each time I think about moving I cannot help but think about the drive across middle America.
It felt like driving on a concrete treadmill not a concrete highway; driving but not moving anywhere. The only thing dimly reflecting a glimmer of hope was the odometer faithfully turning over every tenth of a mile, every mile, every ten miles. I don’t recall how frequently I checked to see how much further it was to Denver. I reckon it was ten times … every hour. Each time I wondered “How much further to Denver?” I really asked, “How far have I come?”
I have dwelled on the second question over the last few weeks. Many of us spend little time looking in the rearview mirrors of life. We prefer to keep our eyes fixed firmly on our destination. The problem is, like the two days in the moving truck, the destination can feel forever away. All we can think about is how much further we have to go, and forget how far we have come.
After eight years in Denver I can safely say I have not reached my destination nor is my journey over. At times, this can feel discouraging. I see all that is yet to be done, the ways I continue to fail, the things I never said, unsuccessful attempts that bred disappointment and the things I swore I would do that are still undone.
How much further?
However, days like today whisper, “Look how far you have come.” Moments when I recall all I have done, failures that transformed me, the meaningful words I spoke to others, the small successes that said “keep going” and the things I swore I would do that I completed. No matter how long certain days felt or how quickly a moment slipped away, there are days when we should stop and look back at our past. These days are necessary because in the midst of the mundane it can feel like we are not moving anywhere. Everything looks the same and we are not sure if we are heading anywhere. Days when all we have is a small odometer reminding us we are going somewhere, however sluggish it may be.
When I look back I am able to see forgiveness, grace, friends, redemption, mistakes, laughter, tears, failures, successes, health, breath, beauty and the list runs on. I see many of you who faithfully journeyed with me over the last eight years, other who were there only for a few miles and countless others who offered a word of encouragement in a critical moment. To all of you I say, “Thank you” which feels so trite and incomplete. Even a million and three “thank you’s” could never express my gratitude anymore than a cup of water could explain the ocean. Eight years on and I am still overwhelmed and thrilled to call Denver home and serve alongside amazing people at Denver Community Church.
Sometimes we need to look back at our past, and today I do just that and invite you to do the same. What are the miles you have traveled? What do you see in your rear view mirror? How far have you come? My prayer is that I will never forget to look back, take the long view on occasion, to remember how far I have come so that two powerful words will always be on my lips: “Thank you.”