true community

I had a friend who I traveled with to Africa several years ago. He said two things to me that I will always remember on that trip. One of them has been on my mind a lot lately. He said, “The Church is the only organization that exists for the benefit of its nonmembers.” When I begin to contemplate that, the thought that creeps up is, “What on earth is the Church doing?”

Lately the newest buzzword in the Evangelical world is “community.” This beautiful idea is that we can be in a place where we can know and be known. This is the idea that we can finally be vulnerable with one another. We can tell about our secret sins, our struggles, our financial woes, our lack of strength faith, and our _________________ (you fill in the blank). More recently I began to realize that the record of the early church in the Text never urges the people to be more and more intimate with one another. It speaks toward a lot of things … truth, purity, faith, how to order the community … but never this high idea of intimacy. It does speak toward caring for one another, to carry each other’s burdens and praying for each other, but never moves toward this intrinsic focus we find so much focus on.

No, the Bible from cover to cover speaks about life. Life for the world. Not just barely getting by either, no, life to the full for every woman, child and man who has ever lived. How are we missing this? How do we read the gospels (the account of Jesus’ life) and not realize that he was all about the poor, the disenfranchised, the weak, those without a societal voice? He was not wrapped up in making sure he had someone to talk to about his stuff with.

If you want to know and be known closely you go to a church building, sign your name on a card with a little demographic information, and someone connects your demographic information with someone else’s demographic information. Then they contact all of you and tell you that you can be close and intimate with your feelings. So then you get together and sit in a room and decide when you will meet and how you will become friends. Is this weird or is it me?

How would you feel if someone your age walked up to you at a bar that you both go to a lot, and said, “Hello, I am Ryan, and I know we both come here a lot, so I thought it would be cool if you and I and a few others started meeting at your house on Tuesdays and tried to become really close best friends.” Is this scenario really that different with churches and small groups?

How have we come to this? We have become people that are so focused on ourselves that we are doing weird things like this. It seems so innocent at first. Come and get connected into a small group at a church. People will pray for you, they want to know your struggles, your concerns, your dreams, everything about you … sometimes you may feel bad because nothing is wrong with you so there is not much to talk about. Over time however, that is the focus … you and your problems and the problems of the group, we become an organization like all the others, existing for the benefit of our members.

Those who are closest to me are the ones with whom I am working side-by-side. They do not need to tell me their pains, struggles, hopes, or fears, I can see them plainly, and mine are there for them to see too. If we want to get back to the essence of being the church we must begin by serving others, not fattening ourselves. We need to come together not in one another’s homes, but come together to restore homes for those in need, come together to cook a meal for a single mother, come together to assist the sick, come together to provide food for the hungry … this must be our focus, not ourselves, others. It is in this, that we will truly find one another and ourselves.

to my gay friends

This is a post that I wrote for our faith community's discussion forum recently. The question was raised regarding our thoughts on homosexuality ... this was my reply to an individual named Will who is a part of our faith community and is gay. I want to post this on my blog, as an open letter to my gay and lesbian friends ...

Just out of college, I worked as a waiter at a restaurant in Grand Rapids. My first shift there I met Eric, who is gay. He and I were chatting for a bit, and I mentioned being in school. He asked where and I told him I was in seminary.

His reply was unforgettable. He wretched his face and said defensively, "oh you're a Christian, so are you going to tell me that I am going to hell?!?" the amazing thing is he had not even told me he was gay at this point.

I replied with a smile, and said, "well if we are going to work with stereotypes, then I will presume that even though you know I am not gay, you will still hit on me and try to sleep with me." he was surprised, and then started laughing, and from that point on became great friends. Why would he say something that quickly about Christians when he was unprovoked?

In his book "what's so amazing about grace?" Phillip Yancey has a quote from a friend of his who is gay. He said, "as a gay man I’ve found it's easier for me to get sex on the streets than to get a hug in church." (Page 168). I found out later that this was Eric’s experience.

The church in America has been so quick to speak, bigoted in its discussion, and more than unkind when speaking to the gay and lesbian community that the gay and lesbian community has stopped listening, and with good reason. Every time they crack the door open we not only knock it down, we destroy whatever is behind it. I believe the best place for the church to begin our dialogue with the gay community is not to talk about how we "view" them, but to begin with a humble apology.

So to any person who is gay or lesbian, let me start by saying that I am sorry. I am sorry for the venom that the church has spewed on you, for the hatred we have sent your way, for chasing you away from the church. I am sorry that you have for so long, hurt alone because the church has turned its back on you. We are responsible for so much hurt and disillusionment in the lives of so many people. I am sorry that I have laughed at "gay jokes" and sometimes objectified people who are gay by labeling them rather than seeing them first as people. Please forgive me. Please forgive us. We must first come to the place where we can speak to one another openly, with humility, respect and mutual honor. It is only then that we can begin to heal.

I believe healing our relationship is the first step; it is only from this place that we can have open and honest dialogue with one another.

the bible

A friend of mine emailed me a few weeks ago, and said, “I want to know all about the Bible, can you teach me?” My first response was, “I don’t know everything about the Bible, that’s why I love it so much.” So he made a list of questions, thoughts and feelings about it, and I read them over. Then we finally hung out last week.

I told him, that rather than start with the list, we should start with the Bible itself. Is this a book that is even worth looking at for any answers? I mean why spend the time asking questions about it, if it is not even worth it? Why are we asking questions of it? How should we approach it? All of the questions surrounding the Bible … this is what we should wrestle with first.

The Bible is an amazing thing. It is more than a book, it is the very Words of God, in fact it is God (See John 1). Many people feel threatened by that, and with good reason. People have misused the Bible for 1,000’s of years to oppress, murder, and exclude and claim “godly authority” while doing so. What if this idea was not a threat, but something that was inviting? Something that invited us to experience, test, doubt, question, trust, enjoy, and search something that engaged us, all of us.

The Bible says of itself that it is living and active. The Bible is not a static record of ancient events, an “owners-manual” or a list of rules that if we obey we can spring ourselves into heaven. Rather it is a collection of God-Inspired writings that present us with deep mystery surrounding the deepest truth … God Himself.

This I find inspiring. I am engaging with a living thing. Even more than that is something that is engaging others. So much has been made about "understanding the Bible" … wars have been fought over this, people have died because of it … it is a big deal. But, have we ever thought about how big the truth of the Bible is? Have we ever thought that if the Bible is a living thing then there may be more than one way of engaging it? As with any living thing, there are truths that are eternal, and we must operate within that framework. For example, if you are friends with me and your interpretation of me is that I am platinum blonde, and 6 feet nine inches, you are wrong … although there are days where I wish you were right.

Like this the Bible has framework of truth that we have to acknowledge, but within that framework if a beautiful landscape of understanding, interpretation, meaning, and mystery that calls us to study, learn, discuss, and ultimately engage with our lives. It is so much more than being right, having "the tough answers to today's tough questions", it is even more than having "achieved full understanding." It is looking into the eternal. This is the place that my friend and I are. So now, as we look into the Bible to find answers we do so together, from two different places, looking at the same living truth … our goal? Not to come out with all of the answers to all of life’s mysteries. Rather, to allow the Bible to engage us as we engage each other, and move us forward in living our own lives. What this looks like remains to be seen.

churchmart, pt. 4

So now that I have spoken about some of the things that I see in the church that must stop … what is the solution? I think we need to drastically reduce our “pinnacle” view of Sunday mornings. We have to stop looking at the few hours on Sundays as the thing that gets it done for people. (This coming from a guy who speaks on Sunday mornings.) We have to be honest and admit that Sunday is an event that has only a moderate return on investment. Especially when compared to what happens when the group of people who gather in a building on Sunday start living out the teachings of Jesus.

The church is a group of people who exist for the benefit of its non-members. So we need to live with this in mind at all times. What does this look like? Being aware of social justice issues and inequity in our world. Finding out who the poor and the needy are in our midst and lending them a helping hand … food, money, assistance in finding and sustaining work, giving them transportation. What would this do to the people receiving help, and those giving it? (think Deuteronomy 24).

What would it look like if the people making the biggest difference in our world was the church? What would it look like if we truly were concerned about our environment? What would it look like if we truly sought to reconcile relationships with one another? What would it look like if we reached out to those who believe differently than us? What would it look like if we spent time with those hurting physically? Maybe it would start to look like Jesus. Sunday mornings for the most part look like the theater … living out the Text, well I think this looks more like Jesus.

So what do we do with Sunday? Keep it, but remove the prominence of it. Use it to heighten the awareness of that which is the most important. Heighten the awareness of gathering in our neighborhoods with those who believe like us and those who believe differently. Heighten the awareness of what the church needs to do to better serve the world so that we may have the right to have a voice in our society. Heighten the awareness in the minds of people that if they are not about doing this sort of thing then they are not living life to the fullest.

Imagine that kind of place. Imagine that kind of world. I do. Everyday. I believe it can and will happen.

churchmart, pt. 3

My wife and I go to see a film from time to time. We go, stand in line, look at all the posters for the new films yet to be released as we talk about which one we will see next. We wander over to the refreshments counter with the smell of stale popcorn fresh in our noses as we decide what candy, snacks and drinks would best accompany us for our trip to the theater. Our tickets are taken, we walk down the hallway, stopping at more dispenser machines to grab more candy, and eventually make our way into the theater. We talk softly so that we do not disturb anyone around us who may be talking softly, then the lights dim, the screen flickers and the room goes quiet.

The Previews start to roll. “That’s a rental,” my wife says after one that seems like an entertaining couple of hours. “No way,” I say to her as we roll our eyes at the next preview on it goes. Then the theater goes really dark. The movie has finally begun. We watch, discuss quietly, laugh, cry (I’m sensitive), become happy, sad, angry and involve ourselves as much as possible in the lives of the characters on the screen. Then as soon as it started it is over.

There have been many times when we leave disappointed having spent 120 minutes of our lives watching something we would just as soon forget. I want to go to the counter and ask for a refund (of my time, not the money). Other times, we talk about the film the entire ride home, think about it as we fall asleep, tell others that have to see it, talk about over lunch with friends who have seen it, because we know we saw an amazing thing that night in the theater. Film is an amazing thing.

Through these experience we grow to love fictional people, places and events. We sit in a large room with total strangers, and allow people we do not know to play on our emotions. We have no interaction with the people on the screen, we have no interaction with the people sitting next to us, we are all alone. Fighting back tears, wanting to punch someone, scared of what is about to jump out, bursting out with laughter. Yet, somehow this experience in meaningful to us, and we do it over and over again.

When put like that it sounds like a depressing reality. Sure, films are a great thing, in their place. However, if that is the only thing any of us did, we would not function well in society, for we would live in a world of hobbits, self-guided fighter planes and people who can fly while on fire. My wife and I enjoy our time at the theater, but more often we go on walks around our neighborhood with our children. Sit on our patio with our friends talking and laughing until late in the evening, and spending time with our families over meals. My wife and I would have a miserable relationship if all we did was meet at the theater and watch films together, and then after a quick embrace part ways and go home. Our only conversation would be in the popcorn line, and before and during the previews, and even then, our discussion would only revolve around films.

This however seems to be the life that we pursue in relation to the church. We show up once a week, Saturday nights, Sunday mornings, maybe one night during the week to sit and watch something on stage. Before it all starts, we mingle briefly while waiting in line to grab a cup of coffee and a bagel. We then walk into the room where many are already seated, take our place and talk quietly to the people with whom we came. Then the music starts, and depending on how we feel we smile, raise our hands, clap, sway, and if it’s really good we cry. The people who are on the stage are characters who touch our emotions. Then the central character to the event stands and speaks to us about God, the Bible and ourselves. What he or she says moves us inside, angers us, disinterests us and maybe even changes a significant portion of our life. Someone prays, perhaps several times, and then as soon as it began it is over. We are done. We stand we leave and seven days later repeat the cycle.

Through this experience we base our theology on people we do not know, we watch the program unravel on stage through people that we can not interact with, we are left to respond to what they have planned in their program, we sit in a room filled with strangers, and we contemplate the mystery of the Eternal ... alone. If this is the only thing any of us did, we would be warped individuals who have a misguided view of God, His Son Jesus and what His movement is all about. The upsetting thing is this, while there are a few people who spend their life alone in a movie theater (see Gene Shalet), there are many who spend their life alone in a building where a "church" gathers for a service.

churchmart, pt. 2

I have a routine when I go to the mall. I know where all three stores are that I care to look in. Each of them has similar clothing, and I can be in and out quickly. When I need jeans I know which has the ones that I prefer. This is good especially when I am shopping for a specific item. I can walk in and walk out, and get exactly what I want.

The town in which I live (Grand Rapids) is similar to the mall when it comes to churches. There are hundreds of them. If you know what you like, what your style is, you can find what you are looking for rather quickly. You can go around from church to church each week, and if the service times are right you can hit two in one day. You can find everything from places that will baptize you or your child (sprinkling and dunking) or dedicate your pet … you can find suits and ties or t-shirts and jeans. You can find loud and brash or soft and contemplative. You can find dispensational or covenant or progressive dispensational or messianic or existential. You can find it all it is the one stop shopping of whatever you like.

The interesting thing to me is that in our town so many people have the same idea that people do in the mall. They go to one place, and they feel like the “jeans don’t fit right.” So they go next door or across town and go to another place that offers the same thing, just fitted a little different. I often run into people that I have known for a number of years. The question asked is, “So what church are you a part of now?” Never, “How is your faith community at ________?”

In so many ways we have lost what it means to participate in the community of Jesus. We go to a “service” to get, to hear someone we think is cool (or deep, godly, good.) We have stopped participating with others to make the Kingdom of Heaven a reality on this earth. Some of this is because of the prominence of the Sunday Morning Service … the most unusual act of one’s week is the pinnacle of many people’s church experience.

churchmart, pt. 1

Why is it that the American Church has become place that seeks to have the next best thing? I thought that the best thing came 2000 years ago and the church’s job was to follow him, and imitate him. It is precisely that, following Jesus, acting like Jesus, living like Jesus that is attractive to people.

However, we have left that and tried everything else to attract those who do not believe like us. We have gone the direction of Customer Service Representatives. Trying to figure our exactly what people want (and occasionally what they need), and then providing it with the loudest volume possible. We have programs and sub-programs for every age and sub-group, we spend thousands of dollars on aesthetics to make our buildings look trendier, we stop doing something we were doing when people complain and leave, and we rack ourselves with concern over what we should put on billboards, because that ... that is what will make them come.

Why is it that this seems so far from what Jesus was up to? I would love to see a church billboard that advertised “__________ Bible Church: Join us, Sell Everything You Own, and Follow Jesus.” Who would want to come? Besides if I really had to sell everything, then I wouldn;'t have a car to get there! Or maybe one that said, “__________ Bible Church: Inviting all Liars, Homosexuals, Materialists, Lesbians, Manipulators, Drug-Addicts, Alcoholics, Gossips to Worship with us." This would for sure keep many people away ... those who aren't self-aware anyway. I mean, if you show up and say that you are there because you saw a billboard, what are you admitting?

We might say that money spent this way is money foolishly spent because no one would show up. Why is it that Jesus’ message - his real message - one of fulfillment in spite of serving others, suffering, dependency and some discomfort, has become so non-existent in this world? Even our version of his message has become consumer oriented. Will Willimon (former Dean of the Chapel at Duke University) once said, “If the gospel you are preaching does not get you killed then you are preaching the wrong thing.”

To be continued ....

the human jesus

I wonder about the thought of Jesus' humanity as portrayed in the gospel writings. So often we talk about Jesus being a man, a person, a human just like we are today, but when we talk about him that all goes away. We become these people who can never measure up to the person we are supposed to be following … the person we are to be like. There was a Rabbi named Hillel who lived a few hundred years before Jesus. Jesus in his teachings often parallels Hillel closely. Hillel said this, “Never teach a disciple to believe in God without teaching the disciple God believes in him.” If this is the case then can we assume that Jesus believes in us?

When he asked Peter after Peter was sinking in the waves, “You of little faith why did you doubt?” What was Peter doubting? That he could walk on water? Why did he want to walk on the water in the first place? Maybe so he could be like his Rabbi … Jesus? If this is the case then was Jesus really asking, “Why did you doubt you could be like me?” Jesus could say this, because while he was the Son of God, he was also a man who could be imitated. This so often is the piece we throw away … he was a man.

Maybe it is that when we read the bible, talk about the bible, and preach about the bible we act as though it were something that happened "long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away." Jesus is some mystic who always walked slowly like he was hovering a few inches of the ground. He always spoke in riddles, with depth and a furrowed brow. The disciples were a bunch of yes men who were insiders copying his every move.

I mean did Jesus ever say "Hey Thaddeus, could you pass the salt please?" Did Jesus ever stumble over a rock in Israel (he knows there are enough of them). Did he ever yawn in the middle of a family talk, stand up and say, "Good night everyone, I’m hitting the hay."

I think rather than the humanity being absent, it is assumed and intrinsic to everything that is written about him. Remember, the guys writing the gospels either knew Jesus, or spoke to those close to him. They knew his humanity. They saw it.

So maybe it is there ... maybe we have just missed it.